[Ashley McKenna-Chase]

Figure This Out

Feeling a little like a broken record, Ashley was contemplating just how busy her life had become. Had it always been this busy? Her diary seemed permanently full. Not only full, but constantly shifting as new commitments came up to be squeezed into place. They were on a mini-break from touring at the moment but somehow Ashley still had very few moments to rest. Maybe she needed to stop saying yes to absolutely every suggestion her manager threw at her.

At least the tour break meant she was spending more time at the apartment with Alice, when their hectic schedules happened to align, which was definitely a nice change. She was an extraverted person by nature, and so was definitely well-suited to the revolving door of smiling celebrity faces that came with her job, but it made a nice change to just relax with a familiar face and make the same old stupid in-jokes.

There was another familiar face who she’d been trying to make stupid in-jokes with lately but she’d been even more difficult to get a hold of.

When she’d first established that she had a few weeks off from playing shows, Ashley had insisted she and Cory have a get-together. They’d grown closer after the whole incident with Dana, when Ashley caught a glimpse of Cory’s closely guarded inner softness, and had seen each other when they could for more jam sessions and the occasional Mario Kart tournament catered by Cory’s surprisingly excellent baking skills. The frequency had dropped off while McKenna Chase had been entertaining crowds all around the country but this break had seemed the perfect opportunity to catch up again.

Except, the first time they had tried, Cory never showed up.

Ashley put it down to a schedule clash, or maybe a last-minute emergency… or maybe forgetfulness. Either way, she hadn’t held it against Cory. She’d spent her time at the coffee shop catching up on some life admin so at least it hadn’t been a waste. She’d texted to rearrange – she was free the next Monday, miraculously – without even asking for any excuses and thought that was it.

Except, Cory never showed up.

Ashley could take a few excuses at this point but something didn’t seem right. Maybe the one time was understandable but she hadn’t thought Cory was the type to flake on her twice in a row in such quick succession. Again, she tried to rearrange, but she was sceptical this time. It felt like Cory was intentionally ghosting her at this point. Maybe she should just give up.

So she sat, waiting, contemplating how busy her life was, before standing suddenly. “Screw this,” she muttered to herself, dialling Cory’s number. It was time to figure out what was going on.

Three failed calls later, Ashley still hadn’t given up. Over the time she’d known Cory, she’d managed to meet her mother-and-BFF, Hannah, who was absolutely lovely. So lovely that she’d given Ashley her number so that she could call her if she ever needed her.

Hannah picked up. “Hey, so sorry to bother you,” Ashley said sweetly, managing to mask the concern in her voice. Best not to worry Hannah as much as she could possibly help it. “I was just wondering if you’d seen Coryelle lately?”

Apparently, she was pretty sure Cory had just been vegging out last night playing Zelda. She didn’t seem to think Cory was overly busy or consumed by any demanding projects right now. Not wanting to press it too far, Ashley thanked her quickly and hung up. Okay, now she was a little offended. Had Cory really just decided that they weren’t friends any more?

A taxi later and a very determined Ash was now waiting outside Cory’s apartment, banging rather firmly on the door. “Okay, time to wrap up the Zelda-thon! I-”

The door opened.

Ashley frowned. “Uh, hey. Is Coryelle here?”

“Who?”

The frown deepened. Apologising quickly, Ashley walked away from the apartment, phone in hand. All the furnishings had been wrong, that dude had definitely been wrong. She was sure that was the right building. She dialled Cory’s number once more and grit her teeth, beginning to wonder if the girl had just disappeared off the face of the Earth entirely.

What was her deal?

Coryelle Wilde

714
WORDS

[Deleted]

live fast, die young

Wearing

608w

It was hard to know where things ended and where they began. The causalities of it all were tangled; a chicken-or-the-egg type of mess. Losing her apartment was no recent thing, she'd been "nomadic" (the term she preferred to call herself) for a handful of months now. Thanks to Jack, she was slowly building up money in the bank but also had found a new, less-than-reputable expense on the side... Her metabolism was an expensive monster to keep a wrangle on, pushing stuff out of her bloodstream faster than she could reload it. The choice to start using hadn't been out of joy or recreation. She didn't know how else to stay sane without sleep.

Ever since she'd gotten evicted she'd had no solid place where her mind seemed to feel particularly 'safe'. Everywhere was vulnerable, and so every night the thoughts and dreams got worse. The cement wall above her bed in the old mattress factory room was covered in various dream catchers of all shapes and sizes. She wasn't incredibly faithful in them, but she was desperate. Desperate enough, in fact, to start trying heavier things than just smoking green. Fortunately, it had finally allowed her to sleep in peace. Unfortunately, it had made her life a haze coming in and out of it... She'd created her best false sense of normalcy to her dear mother to keep her worry-free (after all, this was temporary), but something kept her from even remotely responding to someone in specific. Ashley.

They'd grown much closer over the past year, even when the singer went on tour when they were limited to exchanging Snapchats with silly faces or pics of delicious foods. Finally, she'd returned from a nationwide tour back to California. The past few months Cory had missed plenty of things from messing around in the inflatable dinosaur costume to tipsy Mario Kart; particularly, though, their late night baking - a time when she could be herself with absolutely zero pressure or judgement. Needless to say, she was ecstatic to have her friend back. The first time she didn't come and catch up with her now that she was back in town was an honest mistake. The night before had been particularly violent... and she'd needed a lot to calm herself. She hadn't come to for a while after. It was too embarrassing to reach out without a good excuse, so she simply didn't.

When Ashley rescheduled with no questions asked, Cory was both thankful and horrified. She'd actually shown up but couldn't force herself to walk in. Instead, she spent a good ten or fifteen minutes with her hands in her pockets battling herself on why the hell she couldn't move forward. Ashley deserved better. A thousand self-loathing thoughts had flooded her train of thought and convinced her yet again to leave her friend in the dark. It wasn't until her mother had called her that she knew she'd finally hit a dead end.

"Cor, Ashley was looking for you. Also, summer powwow next month up north! <3" The text stared back at her and made a weight heavy as a brick pull down in her stomach. It wasn't even five minutes after her mother had sent the text that the screen turned to a phone call. "Call from: Mighty Mouse." There was no avoiding it. She had no idea how to answer... so when she'd hit the green button and put it up to her ear, she hadn't meant to be as silent as long as she was until she cleared her throat and greeted with her most normal, "Heya."

Ashley McKenna-Chase
Totally normal. Right?

[Ashley McKenna-Chase]

Figure This Out

In all honesty, Ashley wasn’t sure she’d expected Cory to pick up. Part of her had already been convinced that the other girl wanted nothing to do with her, even if the rest of her desperately wanted to believe that there was a clear and honest explanation for all of this. Just because she was having a hard time thinking of one, didn’t mean it didn’t exist.

Her thoughts drifted briefly to the way her own brother had ghosted her for a solid year. Man – was it something she’d said? Had the fame stealthily wormed its way into her head and made her unbearable to be around? Maybe Alice was able to handle it because of her own, even greater fame. At this rate, they might just have to get themselves an apartment with a spare room to fit their massive celebrity egos in.

It wasn’t like Ashley and Cory had lost touch completely while she was on tour – it was something about reuniting in person that seemed to be spooking her friend. What, did she have an embarrassing new tattoo?

She’d thought the call was about to hit voicemail once more when suddenly the ringing tone was replaced by fuzzy silence. Ashley moved the phone away from her ear to glare accusatorily at her phone signal – but the connection seemed fine. She frowned, about to start talking herself when she heard a quiet, “Heya”.

“Coryelle? Coryelle – is that really you?”

She didn’t even think to hide the eagerness in her voice, she was just elated to have heard her friend’s voice.

“I… I went to Jody’s but you didn’t… Are you there? Did I get the time wrong?” She shook her head at herself. “It’s okay if you forgot but, I mean, I’d really like to see you, Coryelle. If you’re available, obviously.”

She’d wait to ask Cory about her new place in person – perhaps she’d been able to afford an upgrade at last. She was pretty sure Cory’s dream home was just a little kingdom for her foster fur babies, but her old flat hadn’t exactly been the nicest so maybe she’d finally taken the leap. Yeah, that sounded right.

Coryelle Wilde

362
WORDS

[Deleted]

live fast, die young

Wearing

446w

"Coryelle? Coryelle – is that really you?" That was fair... she definitely deserved a question like that. She hadn't expected the enormous wave of sudden weight that crashed into her and had her thumping her back against the wall behind her to keep from falling over. Her free hand lifted to her hair, combing through it and gripping onto the back of her scalp as she tried to keep herself steady. How did someone respond to something like this? It was another quiet second before she forced out an awkward, "Yeah."

The more Ashley went on, the further Cory sunk to the ground until she was eventually sitting on the concrete squatter room floor staring at the ceiling in disbelief at herself. She didn't know what made her be this way, what made her just shut a good friend out. It was hard to think of where it began and why. "I… I went to Jody’s but you didn’t…" Another punch in the gut. "Yeah, ah... something came up." She tried to convince herself that it was because of the gunshot still healing from the month or so before the invite, but the limp wasn't bad. Hardly noticeable, really. Just an excuse.

"Are you there? Did I get the time wrong?" She couldn't respond knowing all the answers either had to be lies or the truth. Both were horribly painful and she was pretty sure she wasn't capable of any more dishonesty towards Ashley. It was easy to lie to people that didn't give a shit about you when you in-turn didn't get a shit about them. The hand in her hair pulled forward again and ran slowly down her face, pulling her eyes shut and head resting downwards. "It’s okay if you forgot but, I mean, I’d really like to see you, Coryelle. If you’re available, obviously."

Silence. It was all she could offer. It didn't take long for her to rush to her feet and jump out of the window a few stories down. No one was around to watch, so flashing herself on her bike wasn't nearly as time consuming as jogging down flights and flights of stairs. The rustling probably hit the mic on her phone a decent bit before a click and the roar of a familiar engine buzzed loudly in the background. This was like her mother taught her... if a snake ever bit you, you had to try and suck the venom out to stop it from spreading. It was going to hurt, but it'd only get worse. "Where are you right now? I'm on my way."

Ashley McKenna-Chase
Swallowing pride.

[Ashley McKenna-Chase]

Figure This Out

Ashley hung onto all the pauses in an embarrassing desperation – determined to reel Cory back in as a friend. Ashley wasn’t the type to lose the ones she was closest too; all of her friends were incredibly loyal, in part because of her own insistent loyalty. Not only was Cory great fun to work with as a musician, but she was just all round good company. Low maintenance, like Alice, with a pretty whacky, good-natured sense of humour that made her effortless to hang out with. Ashley was as extraverted as they come but sometimes she craved something a little more low key from her friendships, and Cory certainly delivered on that. As such, there was no way she was letting her go easily.

“I… I’m so glad it’s you!” she said happily, doing her best to push past the awkwardness in Cory’s tone.

Something came up. The emptiness of it ate at her slightly. She’d half-convinced herself that Cory really did have a full, elaborate and perfectly justified excuse, but here she was with “something”. Still… the words were heavy with guilt. Even over the phone, Ashley could sense that something wasn’t right.

“That’s okay,” she said softly. “These things happen.” Her own response was deliberately vague, but not unkindly so.

Maybe Cory would open up more in person.

More silence for Ashley to cling to, to hold back from speaking over even though she had a million things she could say, and then Cory surprised her entirely.

“Right now?” Ashley panicked, reaching into her pocket for her phone to load up Maps before realising that it was still pressed firmly to her ear. “Oh, I was uh… I was just at your apartment. I’m down the street a little, there’s that park nearby – I could go grab a bench to wait on, if that works?”

Even as she said it – a little hesitantly – she strode towards the park with a strange determination. This time, Cory was definitely going to be here. She was sure of it. That roar of the engine was like a song to her heart.

Coryelle Wilde

350
WORDS

[Deleted]

live fast, die young

Wearing

377w

"Oh, I was uh… I was just at your apartment."  If her head could've fallen off of her shoulders from how low it fell into her free hand, it would've. Fingers sprawled across her face and she held them there, partially over her mouth and nose, until Ashley continued on with the conversation as if nothing had been out of the ordinary. Coryelle had been evicted months ago... She simply couldn't keep up with the rent and had never gathered the humility to ask her mother for help. But now she was working again - with Jack and Anna - and digging herself slowly out of the hole.

Hopefully Ashley hadn't seen anything strange. Maybe no one had been home. She would've mentioned that, right? Her mouth opened to try and formulate a lie of not being home before she felt it already pulse in ache in her heart. How could she even think of doing that? For what? So that she didn't feel so embarrassed? The singer wasn't exactly hurting for money... Knowing that they were on two very different ends of a spectrum made Cory more than a little uncomfortable. "Oakhill, yeah I know it. Give me ten." Her voice was a little hushed, hesitant but true to her word. After a deep breath she pulled her helmet on and heeled up the kickstand.

She'd actually made it in eight, a block or so down, and spent a full minute or two straddling the bike trying to gather the courage to get off of it. Finally, she set her helmet on the back seat and lifted her leg over, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket, and walked towards the dim lights of the park. Her steps had gotten quieter since she'd been working with Anna and she hadn't noticed how close she'd gotten to Ashley without being heard. She stopped a few yards away from the back of the bench and she could feel her chest physically clamp and tighten inwards. Right, the venom... It'd get her soon if she didn't buck up and suck it out. "Hey Ash," she greeted lightly from behind, already swallowing deeply to try and keep her stomach down. "Good tour?"

Ashley McKenna-Chase
Swallowing pride.

[Ashley McKenna-Chase]

Figure this Out

Ten minutes, Ashley could do. She’d spent enough time trying to track Cory down so far; she could afford to wait another ten minutes. Probably another ten minutes after that just in case Cory had under-estimated the journey. If Ashley was being honest with herself, she’d even wait a further ten minutes because half an hour was a reasonable amount of time to give somebody to drop everything and come see you. After that, it would break her heart, but she would have to accept that all the silence and short, uncomfortable sentences were truly just a sign that Cory wanted nothing more to do with her.

There wasn’t much she could occupy herself with once she reached the park. She’d walked too quickly – excited by her belief that this time Cory was definitely going to show up, surely, right? Probably. The nose of an engine coming to life was definitely promising, she thought.

She pulled her phone out for a second to see if it would entertain her, but that only served to remind her that she had a dozen emails demanding her attention. There was a message from Alice (”Just at the store – tacos for dinner tomorrow?”)

Ashley immediately tapped out a brief but enthusiastic response.

🌮🌮🌮🌮💖

Then she quickly put her phone away before she accidentally opened up an email and became forced to reply to it. They could afford to wait until the morning. Instead, Ashley simply stared across the park and began to fantasise about the tacos that awaited her in her not so distant future. Alice always managed to make them as healthy as tacos could possibly be without sacrificing flavour.

Her taco dreams were interrupted abruptly by a sudden familiar voice – Ash half jumping out of her skin as she remembered why she was even here in the first place.

“Coryelle!” she said happily, spinning on the bench to face her. She propped her elbows on the back of it, doing her best to keep the mood up. Cory looked worryingly serious, despite the lightness of her words.

“It was… yeah, of course it was! I’ve had so many new song ideas on the road, it’s been a blast.” She smiled softly, a little concern creeping into her expression. “I guess you’ve been busy lately yourself, huh? Much going on with you?”

Like say… I don’t know, a new apartment? And maybe… a good reason she’d been so hard to get a hold of lately?

Ashley didn’t say it out loud, but she was hoping she’d get some positive answers out of her as she was really starting to worry that something was wrong. Maybe she’d even been the cause of it. She’d kept in touch while she’d been away, sure, but maybe she hadn’t tried hard enough. Maybe she’d missed something important.

Ashley looked up at Cory, feeling a sudden sense of guilt as she waited for her friend to respond. The joy at finally seeing her face was still there, but they had a heap of other things to address before she could really embrace that.

Coryelle Wilde

515
WORDS

[Deleted]

live fast, die young

Wearing

495w

How did such a cheerful, excited reaction make her feel that much worse? Of course Ashley was happy, of course she was glad to see her, of course she wasn't angry or jumping to blame or accuse, because Ashley was a better person than most people could ever hope to be. She didn't deserve how she'd been treated and ignored. She didn't deserve to be pushed aside just because Cory had been too much of a wuss to know what to say or do. Though she attempted a smirk as the girl turned around in the bench, it was evidently pained. For once, there was no joke that came to mind to cover it up. It wasn't often that Coryelle was at a loss for words and witty comebacks.

"That's awesome," the smirk attempted to pull up higher at the singer's news of fresh ideas and new muse. She'd been sickly jealous the first couple of months of being out on the road and doing nothing but seeing new places and playing tunes. Especially with a good friend. That'd been one of her favorite memories of gymnastics with her mother; the crazy road trips filled with Cheetos, Arizona tea, Aerosmith, and Heart. "I guess you’ve been busy lately yourself, huh? Much going on with you?"

Like getting shot right after she'd left, becoming part of an underground vigilante justice crew alongside Dexter Boy Genius and Miss Mission Impossible? Or maybe getting evicted, being broke, living on the street since half a year ago, and just finally starting to get back on her feet? No. Not much going on. It wasn't exactly possible to go blurting it all out... but the guilty way that Ashley looked at her like something had gone wrong on her end had her immediately jumping to admitting the fault. "You didn't hear? I'm going for World's Worst Friend. Might have a shot at Nationals."

It might have been worded humorously, but there was none on her face, only apologetic shame. After a long while, she dropped her head and kept her hands in her pockets. It would be so much easier to run... She was under the assumption she could outrun anything, but this wasn't something she could leave in the dust. Ashley had been the first close friend she'd had in years. Everyone else, everything else, had just been figures in a boring, motionless life that'd headed nowhere.

"I fucked up..." she broke the silence, shaking her head and looking down at her shoes while she mushed a dandelion into the grass. "I dunno why... I'm sorry," she swallowed, keeping her head low. She didn't feel right looking to her friend just yet. Ashley had every right to be furious with her, to curse her or to chuck something at her. The least Cory could do was allow her a moment to do anything she needed and react anyway she saw fit.

Ashley McKenna-Chase
Ready for the reaming.

[Ashley McKenna-Chase]

Figure this Out

If there was guilt riddled on her own face, then it was nothing compared to the shamed, remorseful look on Cory’s. This was in spite of the fact that Cory was trying to play it cool and joke her way around the topic. Ashley was familiar with this tactic of hers and, unfortunately for her Cory, her concern was now outweighing her desire to keep the mood light. She wasn’t about to enable Cory in avoiding the subject when there was clearly something important here.

Especially when Cory was failing so miserably at hiding that fact from her expression.

So Ashley didn’t laugh at Cory’s joke. It wasn’t funny – not right now. Maybe if things worked out okay she’d tease her for it later, but right now it was a rather transparent attempt to avoid talking about something that was obviously serious, and so instead her eyebrows pulled together into a worried frown. The other girl hung her head, the humourless silence suffocating in its enormity.

Whatever it was, Cory didn’t seem to think it was Ashley’s fault. She shook her head as a few words tumbled from her, still avoiding eye contact. Then… an apology. No excuses, no explanations, but the word “sorry” hung in the air anyway.

Ashley blew air through her nose forcefully, feeling a sudden rise of frustration. Clearly Cory had something on her mind and a reason why she was taking the blame for her absence, but she was being so cagey and avoidant – maybe hoping Ashley would let her move on from it after all.

She wouldn’t.

“I forgive you, of course I forgive you, but are you… Aren’t you going to tell me why it’s been so hard to meet with you?” she demanded, her voice a little shaky as it raised ever so slightly. Ashley took a second to compose herself before continuing. “Look, you’re not the first person I care about to try and lock themselves out of my life, okay? And it’s like, I don’t know, maybe I give off this impression that I’m too fragile to deal with other people’s problems when the going gets tough, or something. Maybe I’m the last person people want in a crisis.”

She shrugged her shoulders, trying to calm herself.

“It’s… You know… It’s fine if you don’t want me around any more. Things change. But you’ve been ghosting me, Coryelle, and you won’t even tell me why. That’s not fair. Just, please…?” Ashley trailed off – unable to finish her sentence. It was her turn now to stare at the ground, her eyes fixed on the dandelion that had been crushed under Cory’s shoe.

Coryelle Wilde

441
WORDS

[Deleted]

live fast, die young

Wearing

538w

There was no smile, no laughter, no sense of humor. Cory hadn't expected any from how horribly honest the joke's tone had been - if you could even call it one. She never thought that someone accepting an apology and being so understanding would hurt so much. It seemed like it'd be easier if Ashley just started yelling at her for all the things she'd done wrong, but instead - like the good person she was - she was merciful. The raise in her voice made Cory intent on keeping her head down and had her shoulders bunching up closer to her neck.

Before she could even think of an answer, Ashley drew her own assumptions that, of course, pointed to herself of maybe how Cory saw her or thought of her. The guilt built bile in her stomach and rose in the back of her throat, making her lift her head quickly to defend Ashley's character from the assumptive fears. "No, Ash, that's not it-. Like, at all!... I don't think of you like that," her head shook and her hands pressed down harder into her pockets with straight, locked arms; almost close together in front of her waist.

Then another slam. "It’s… You know… It’s fine if you don’t want me around any more. Things change." "What-? No!" finally her hands came out and her head shook harder, brows pulling upwards in the center as her hands reached out instinctively but quickly withdrew like she'd break something by pressing too far. They sort of just hung there in space, unsure of where to go. She deserved more than a 'why'. Way more... but there wasn't really anything Cory could give accept for apologies and effort. Ashley was right, it wasn't fair. This time, it was the singer looking down and waiting in silence, forcing Coryelle to try and think of her move.

There was so much to explain; things that would hurt and things that she couldn't. "I... I came to Jody's. I stood on the sidewalk... and I couldn't come in," she swallowed, chest ripping at the heaviness of honest words that had the inability to hold any comforting humor. There was no way around this one. "I don't know why... I was embarrassed. I'm still embarrassed," she corrected, shoulders dropping lowly. "I'm just... looking for a new place. And I've got a more regular job now too and-,"

She thought of something quick, eyes wide and voice pleading, "My mom doesn't know, please don't tell her. She'd drop everything and freak out and leave work and waste all of her time on me-! She'll worry forever!" That came with the territory of being a protective mom. Especially when-... Well, they were birds of a feather. "I'm stupid... I'm stupid and I'm a coward and I'm sorry," she couldn't believe it, but her vision was a little foggy. Her head ducked down to hide it, hands in loose fists at her side from their confusion of how to move or where to hold. It was hard admitting to your famous friend that you had nothing, were worth nothing, and had struggled with it for some time.

Ashley McKenna-Chase
Heart-to-heart.

[Ashley McKenna-Chase]

Figure this Out

Of course, Cory completely denied thinking of Ashley as a fragile person incapable of dealing with difficulty, but that didn’t lessen Ashley’s fear that her suspicions were based in truth. Her own brother had shut her out, not even giving her a chance to hear and understand what he’d been through, and why would he have done that unless he thought it was easier for her to be kept in the dark – for both sides? Sure, they were reconnected now, but only after Ashley had persuaded him that she didn’t think he was a monster for doing what he thought was right.

Yes, she could be a little childish in her humour. Her positivity in life could be mistaken for blissful ignorance, she still had a collection of stuffed toys in her bedroom and she made her living performing for an audience that was undeniably predominantly young itself. Ashley certainly hadn’t thought any of these things would have such a detrimental effect on her relationships, but apparently they culminated in the perception that Ashley wasn’t mature enough to be involved in serious matters.

Or, so she’d now started to convince herself, anyway.

At least Cory was looking at her now – reaching for her, even, though not so much as to actually touch her. She seemed adamant that she did still want Ashley in her life. She was here, wasn’t she? She was here and she was protesting strongly as Ashley voiced her fears. Even if she had been trying to avoid Ashley because she’d thought Ashley wouldn’t be able to handle whatever was bothering her, now she was here and she was trying her hardest to persuade Ashley otherwise. She deserved to be heard.

Ashley’s eyes flickered to meet Cory’s as she started- stumbled her way into an explanation. She didn’t doubt the truth of her friend’s words for a second. The fact that she’d been there at Jody’s, so close yet so far, spoke only of the demons she’d been trying to face alone and the determination she’d had to even show up despite that fact. Despite her heavy, obvious embarrassment at having failed to enter the building.

“I’m just… looking for a new place.”

Small alarm bells rang in Ashley’s head. Present tense. Somebody was already living in her old apartment – and had been for a while, if her first impression had been accurate. Unless Cory had moved into a different place and was now looking for yet another place, something was wrong.

She was about to press it when Cory’s eyes widened suddenly, and she begged Ashley not to tell her mum – her concerns all but admitting the fact that Cory didn’t actually have a home right now at all. She had a “more regular” job, but that still didn’t mean regular enough, and now she was proclaiming herself a stupid coward.

Ashley took a deep breath. “Coryelle.” The word hung in the air for a few seconds as she considered her next words.

“I believe you – y’know, that you came to Jody’s. And listening to you now… I can only imagine the hateful things you must be telling yourself all the time, so I’m not surprised you stayed outside. I should have noticed sooner that something was wrong, something big; I should have tried harder to see you as soon as you didn’t show the first time. So I’m sorry too.”

She tried to smile. “I know you’re going through a lot right now but there’s no need to be ashamed of it, okay? Especially not with me. I’m kinda a big believer in forgiveness.” She smiled a bit more convincingly now, pulling strength from her faith. “I promise I won’t tell your mom anything.”

Ashley bit her lip, unsure whether or not to say the next thing on her mind. Her concern was too high to ignore it, however. “I told you before that I’d been to your apartment.” She gestured thoughtlessly down the road towards it, as if Cory really needed the reminder. “Well… when I was there, somebody answered. They didn’t even know who you were and the whole place looks different now. How long exactly has it been since you lived there?”

Coryelle Wilde

700
WORDS

[Deleted]

live fast, die young

Wearing

457w

Of course Ashley was the kind of person to immediately think of things she could've done better. Of course she was. It hit Cory like a truck and she was already slowly shaking her head in disbelief. "Ash-," she started and couldn't even continue, mouth open and dumbfounded. A huff came from her with a sad smile and eyebrows that tented upwards towards one another. "Are you kidding? You don't owe me any kind of apology." Her shoulders dropped in a slump after her hands lifted heavily in expression.

The immediate forgiveness and reassurance that Ashley was never someone she should be ashamed around just made her drop her shoulders lower. They'd spoken about her faith every now and then - it was incredibly important to Ashley and Cory always had an open mind to listen. She'd never been particularly spiritual but she had no strong feelings against learning or trying to understand. "Yeah, I know..." she nodded with acceptance and remembrance of her friend's practices. The one thing that had her reacting the most, though, was a promise not to tell the every-worrying Nurse Hannah. Cory took a huge breath and it fell from her chest like a landslide, "Thank you so much."

The singer motioned down the street and the part of the conversation she'd been dreading finally came to light without a shadow in sight to hide in. "I told you before that I’d been to your apartment." That was how it started... and then her worst fears were confirmed. Someone else was there, answered, everything was different. There was no more getting around this. Coryelle had found comfort in looking back down to the now-flat dandelion half beneath the toe of her shoe as she took the words like an inevitable death sentence to any pride she thought she had.

Talking about stuff like this, dealing with stuff like this, thinking about stuff like this with anyone but her mother just made her feel sick to her stomach. She wished she could pull up the energy to whip a joke or two out and forget the whole thing happened - take her mind away and just go and do something else. But Ashley was an anchor, and she wasn't getting away from it anytime soon. "How long exactly has it been since you lived there?" It took a few seconds for the bile in her throat to clear before she could answer, just barely over a whisper, "...Couple months." Another stretch of silence and she attempted to break it with reassurance, though her head remained down, "I've been figuring things out as I go though, you know? It's not bad." Though some had different definitions of the word.
 

Ashley McKenna-Chase
Heart-to-heart.

[Ashley McKenna-Chase]

figure this out

Ashley’s eyes sparkled just a little as Cory insisted that she didn’t owe her an apology, a timid and teasing smile coming to the surface. She didn’t want Cory to be looking so sad any more – of course they needed to discuss things seriously, but that didn’t mean everything needed to be 100% intense. And right now, Cory needed to be brought up, not down.

“Hey you,” she said, as sternly as she could manage. “Let me apologise too! It’s not fair that you get to have all the fun of the blame.” Her grin strengthened a little as she tried to catch her friend’s eye, tilting her head and looking up to see if she could pry any kind of positive reaction from her.

Cory looked immensely relieved – almost insultingly so – when Ashley promised not to get Mama Nurse involved. As if she would drop Cory right into the middle of a conversation she very clearly wasn’t prepared for! Cory was struggling to tell her anything, let alone her own mum.

“You don’t have to worry about things like that with me, okay? I’m an excellent secret-keeper,” she boasted proudly. After all, she did share an apartment with the country’s most prominent superhero without the press having even a single clue about it. Ashley was fantastic at minding her own business and maintaining privacy – a little confession of homelessness? Completely safe with her.

It took a long time, or so it felt to Ashley, for Cory to put together a few quiet words about her living situation. Ashley tried her best not to look too shocked, but her eyes widened nonetheless at the idea of Cory being without a stable roof over her head for months. She felt terribly guilty when she thought of her own situation, but the thought of charity didn’t even come close to making it into an offer. She knew Cory better than to obviously be taking pity on her.

“That’s so…” Her turn to find words. “That’s a long time, Coryelle. I’m so sorry to hear that and I’m so sorry I haven’t been around while all of this has been going on. Let me apologise,” she added warningly, the slight teasing smile returning to her face momentarily. “That… that really sucks to hear. Do you have anywhere to stay while you’re looking for a new place?” She hated the idea of Cory having to sleep rough.

Again, she wasn’t about to offer explicit charity – but there was an implied sofa at Cory’s disposal should she need it.

Coryelle Wilde

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[Deleted]

live fast, die young

Wearing

492w

Cory frowned at first when Ashley insisted she take some of the blame. They both knew that absolutely none belonged to her and that it was simply to make the situation both less tense and easier to stomach for the runner's sake. Cory was smart enough to know not to argue with Ashley and her headstrong persona. It wasn't like she was one to let her feel wanting about something anyway. If she wanted it, she'd have it, and Cory would just have to accept it. How could she say 'no' when even now a goofy smile prodded her eyes upward as the singer craned her head at an angle awkwardly to try and catch her line of sight? A slight smirk was offered in return to reward Ashley's attempt with success.

When she agreed to keep the information from her mother - or rather just to not mention it - the air around them felt breathable again. Cory lifted her hands and extended them over her face as her head leaned back. They stretched down the length of her forehead, cheeks, and down her jaw lightly pulling at the skin like she was physically wiping away the worry. "Oh God," she breathed, taking a step around Ashley and the bench to plop herself heavily down on it with a slumped and tired posture. "It's just that she-," well, Ashley knew. They were both kind of the most openly likable people on the planet, it was destined that they'd gotten along so well from the very first second. Scarily so, almost.

"She has enough to worry about. And... I've got this handled," she swallowed, nodding her head. Maybe she didn't a month ago, but surely now working with Jack everything would iron itself out. She'd get a place, get a bed, get some sleep. Get on her feet again. Hearing Ashley's reaction to Cory's confession of how long she'd been without the apartment made her stomach churn and her head drop an inch or so lower. She'd tried to make light of the length of time, but her friend - like always - saw right through it for what it was.

"Yeah, yeah. I've got somewhere," she answered, running her hand along the back of her neck. "Two places, I guess. I can swap back and forth." If the factory didn't work out one night, Jack had an extra bed next to Anna. She just hated crashing there... it made the homelessness more apparent to the two of them. Excuses like it being too late to go home or being a little too inebriated to drive worked out. "...I should've just told you," she sighed, "I should've just bucked-up and admitted it. I don't know why I was so freaked out- why I'm still freaked out, I just... I dunno. I'm sorry, Ash," she scrunched her mouth and lifted her head to the side to her friend, "I missed ya."
 

Ashley McKenna-Chase
Heart-to-heart.

[Ashley McKenna-Chase]

Figure this out

The tilt-and-grin method proved to be quite the success, with Ashley letting out a happy sigh of relief as a small smirk wormed its way onto Cory’s face. “I see you smiling,” she teased, wanting to keep Cory’s mood up as best as possible. “Puppies! Pizza!” Ashley started listing things that were sure to put a smile on pretty much any sane human’s face. “The feeling when a really good song finally hits the drop and the crowd goes wiiild!”

Too much enthusiasm? Oops, maybe. They were discussing pretty serious things after all, but it was hard to stay serious with her friend who was always so childishly boastful after winning a Mario Kart tournament and had named her ferret ‘Nugget’. Who… speaking of…

“Do you still have Nugget?” Ashley asked, concerned. She wasn’t sure how the ferret would have taken to being dumped out of house and home. She also wasn’t sure how Cory would have survived without the company of her little furry friend, especially when things seemed to have been so bad for so long.

She nodded in agreement as Cory declared that her mother had enough on her plate. The two shared an intensely loving mother-daughter relationship and Ashley knew the pair of them worried themselves sick over the other. Hannah likely had her suspicions anyway, but Ashley wasn’t about to go stressing her out by confirming any bad news. Cory was fine, it would all be fine. Ashley was here now and she wasn’t letting Cory hide from her so easily next time.

“Two places?” Ashley raised an eyebrow. “Okay, I guess that’s a little reassuring. Nice places, safe places, right? The hopeful waver in her voice was a dead giveaway at her concern that Cory was in fact staying in places that could be described as the exact opposite. “With friends?”

Ashley nodded firmly as Cory sighed. “You should have. But I wasn’t here for so long and… look, I know you. I know how hard it is for you to admit you need any kind of help or support, tough gal.” Her eyes glinted with mischief. “But I know now, so you can let out all those big breaths you’ve been holding in. I… I missed you too.”

She felt oddly embarrassed, quickly changing the subject. “You wanna stay chilling here for a while? We could always try and grab that coffee if you want.”

Coryelle Wilde

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